Merry Christmas!

Not much today. I watched "Blindness". I don't know but the movie was a bit weird. It looked like an amateur director trying to look like a professional but apparently it's by an acclaimed director and a great novelist. Anyhow I'm making a mini-post-Christmas-pre-New Year's Resolution List.

1. Score higher than B+ on Sociology course.
2. Study Arabic
3. Get driver's license.
4. MOS certificate
5. Learn Chinese characters
6. Read 2 books a week
7. Go shopping
8. Keep posted on exchange student
9. Practice the guitar
10. Practice the cello
11. Practice the flute
12. Listen and discover as many music as possible
13. Exercise twice a week
14. Make int'l group
15. Join a debating group

Sex Offenders

Do we give these sex offenders a second chance?

Maybe they do have some kind of crazy mental problem and they can't help it, but that doesn't give them an excuse. If I were the president I would give them death penalties but since I'm not and well Presidents just happen to be so forgiving when it comes to sex offenders I guess the only thing I can do is to sit back and watch on the news sexually abused children grow by daily.
But what if it was you? What if it was your child? What if it was your sister and your best friend?
Will you still sit back and talk shit about defending the rights of sex offenders who BY THE WAY have already had their second chance? Some might say well, what if you were the wife, the mother, or the friend of the sex offender? Would you still give them such a big penalty?

If you're asking me, I say YES! If my friend or my whoever commited such a crime that affected an innocent child and their whole family and made their life miserable, then I say we must take these consequences.

Obama for a change!

It's definitely change, alright.
I like Obama, maybe its his looks or his strength in his voice or his ideology.
And even if his policies work against Korea (we're all wailing over here) I like Obama.
But I'm beginning to think is the United States simply becoming globalized?

Or is it the start of losing its identity?

The biggest free riders ever!

I recently had an english class that required a group presentation of 4 and I happened to be the leader. People who know me, I am definitely not the leader type. When someone tells me what to do, I am very attentive to what they say and do EXACTLY what they tell me to do, but I'm not the sort of person who orders people around and tell them what to do.

What I've noticed with these (some) Korean kids: They are the biggest and best free riders ever. They cannot do anything that involves dividing. Maybe that's why Koreans can't dutch pay. At first it looked like everything was going fine: although there was one Chinese dude who could not speak english or korean. But then I soon realized everything was falling apart. Just because people thought that I could speak english, they came up with this weird psychology that I would do everything for the project. We were 4, actually 3 we have to exclude the dude everytime it comes to division of labor. So I divided it into 3 equal jobs and gave it to the two others. One day we gathered to show each other our work, and one did not do their work that well. I mean this guy didn't know the difference between "is" and "it". Now, the two of them were complaining that I should make the script and PPT for them. And when I said "You should write your own although I can help you with it" they got absolutely insane and mad and screamed "Then what the hell are you doing for the presentation?!?!"
It just struck me I couldn't say anything. Uh, Hello? I did my one third of share? and I even offered to help?

I'm a bad leader. a Terrible one.
So I'm sitting now on my computer making a user guide (which won't fucking print without getting the edges cut off) and an outline and finalizing a script and a powerpoint presentation all by myself and NO ONE knows that I'm doing all this. My team members? I texted them and I have no idea what they're doing. In fact I think one of them is out there partying.

Today I realized life is meaningless...agree?

I do. I mean life is kinda meaningless. And I have no motivation whatsoever to do anything.
I just lie in bed all day, even when I'm fully aware my exam is on Thursday, Fri, and Saturday.
Then I start hating myself for being so lazy and procrastinatingg (dammit can't even spell now)

I keep wondering am I doing the right thing. am I doing what I like. am I doing what I wanna do for the rest of my life.
I want a decent job by the time i graduate and in 10 years i hope to be in some place where people can admire at least a little. But am I doing enough to deserve this?
Am I going to regret this? I really do want a job doing what I really want to do, and still getting some respect from others with a fair pay of course. I don't expect to be wealthy but I want a decent house and a decent car. But most of all, I want to be enjoying my life 10 years later.

Stuff to do:
1. Cultural Studies Exam Thurs
2. Polit Science Exam Fri
3. Econ Exam Sat
4. Volunteer work Mon
5. Eng. Presentation Tues
6. Presentation Wed

new post in 6 days!

New post in 6 days! that's a record for sure! wow i must have been really bored. I'm not supposed to be bored though, my finals are coming up next week :( My arabic's just going eemm...so-so. it's still fun. I mean the writing still fascinates me. I totally regret bailing out from Arabic classes in Choueifat and not picking it up when EVERYONE spoke Arabic making me feel like some outsider.
I reallly wanna try out other languages. If I ever get to master Arabic before my deathbed, I'd wanna try out French. I did learn French before for like 3months? But it was horrible. Ms. LeSaux really knew how to tire people out and made us pay 5 pesos for every pad paper we didn't bring to buy herself cigarettes that she tried to hide by drinking tons of iced tea but to no avail. And later on my mom made me learn French privately form MRS. LeSaux, Ms. LeSaux's mother. Like I said before, the American Sign Language is on my list. Then I wanna try maybe Spanish.
Hey come on, don't look at me like I'm some overconfident language addict. Most of the students in my Arabic classes tell me Arabic is their fourth or fifth language. EVERYONE knows how to speak Korean and English. Most can speak French and Chinese fluently. Some can speak Spanish and German and Japanese. I'm the only person who can speak just 2 languages.

1. Master Arabic
2. (American) Sign language
3. French
4. Spanish
5. Chinese

Just 5 languages. That's all i ask. Oh wait, I might wanna add in Vietnamese. I've wanted to try it out coz whenever I go to Vietnam, where my dad lives currently, I have to communicate with words rather than sentences. Anyways Vietnamese is somewhat similar to French I heard so that'l make it easier.

Ma at salama. Au revoir. Ciao. Zai jian. Bye for now!

Sign Language

For around 10 days I lived alone since my mom was gone away. I had nothing to do. And I had already watched all seasons of Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, Lost, and Desperate Housewives.
As I was browsing around I came across the L Word, a series about
lesbians living in WeHo, LA and their lives, love, and friendship. I really enjoyed watching it. It has A LOT of themes such as how Bette defines her identity as African-American when no one knows she has the African blood and how trust is broken between Bette and Tina....and etc.

In season 5, Jodi appears. Jodi is a deaf sculptor played by Marlee Matlin. Matlin is in reality deaf. She has complete hearing loss on one side, and 80% on the other. Yet she is very outgoing and wonderful. There are many scenes where Bette and Jodi communicate thru sign language. So I started taking some interest in sign languages. I never knew there were different sign languages in different countries. Jodi and Bette use the ASL (American Sign Language). I found some lessons on the internet and can sign words like afraid, don't know, do, mad, sister, water, dinner, party, worth, and etc.

I think the world of sign language is just be-autiful. The fact that you can communicate with just your hands is mind blowing for me. Anyways I'm thinking about learning the ASL by myself. It's fun. but still haven't decided if I should learn the KSL instead.

My latest obsession with Mika

A lot of people might not know much about Mika. People will most probably know him after hearing the song "Happy Ending"
Mika's actual name is Mica Penniman and he was born in Lebanon to an American father and a Lebanese mother. His family had to move to Paris due to the war when he was one years old. At nine, he moved to London where he has been living up to this day. His days in London were not welcoming; he suffered sever bullying and dyslexia. Later on, he attended the Royal College of Music where he listened to much classical/opera music.
I cannot pin-point one favorite song of his. His music is very diverse, alot of them sounding gay others sounding depressing. Love today, Grace Kelly, Billy Brown, Big Girls, Over My Shoulder, The Only Lonely One, Relax Take It Easy, Any Other World, and last but not the least Happy Ending.
Songs like Grace Kelly, Billy Brown, Love today sound extremely gay but the lyrics are not. Even in the song Happy Ending, although the title of the song sounds joyful, "no love no joy no glory" explains the gloominess of the lyrics.
Grace Kelly is a song Mika wrote out of frustration over the record company who agreed to sign the contract only when Mika did more R n B.
In Love Today, Mika is desperate for love quoting "love love me".
The reason I like Mika so much is that despite his success, gay music, and super-optimism there's a sadness behind his eyes so deep that shows the 24years of his flamboyant life.

To do list for August

Okay, so I've been lazing off for the past couple of...................YEARS..fine i admit it
Prolly time for me to get back on my feet again, shape myself up.
So I made a list of things to do in August

To-do list:
1. Sign up for Arabic lessons
2. Study for TOEFL test on the 24th
3. Review Economics for re-test
4. Review Sociology for re-test
5. Work-out every morning

Wanna-do list:
1. Get driver's license
2. Get MOS license (just to get it over with)
3. Get 990 on TOEIC
4. Brush up on my Chinese
5. Get a job/teach English
6. Preview Politics
7. Learn what is required for foreign exchange student (TOEIC, TOEFL, SAT, GRE?)
8. Learn a new language perhaps French or Spanish

Discovered new music

I've recently came across a blog of someone I knew from Brent. She and a couple of people from Brent had started out a indie band named "Save The Sea Monkeys!" http://www.myspace.com/savetheseamonkehz
Their music was really good. I mean real good for people my age. It wasn't hardcore or those music you scream out loud just for fun. Their music truly had candor and honesty to it. And then I wondered what I was doing while she was doing something this cool. It was nice to see how she was doing what she really wanted in her life. We used to be in the same school band: she played the french horn and I played the flute and yet she was at this point in our lives, starting out a band a whole new solo project called "Dining with the Bolsheviks Music" http://www.myspace.com/diningwiththebolsheviksmusic


Today was a tough day for me. My grades came out for my first semester at college.
Many C's a couple of B's... So now I am sitting at my computer wondering what went wrong in my life. Had I done anything to fix it? Now. No emotions. No motivations whatsoever. I watched Juno yesterday. Supposedley "heart-warming". I didn't feel anything. NOTHING. I just sat there and watched. The plot, the character, the story. But I didn't feel it like I used to.

Anyhow I'm not here to regret my life. No more regrets.
My life has changed much. I was mentally strong and passionate before. I had a dream and a goal and that was the only reason why I cared nothing about what others had to say. Nothing mattered. What mattered was my dream that pumped blood deep down my heart.
And now that dream flew away. I didn't know. I didn't know that it was slowly creeping away into the thin air. One day I woke up and discovered myself with no passion or dream.

Cut to the right point. I envy the group and the solo project. I love people who live
for what they truly want. Hats off to ya guys!

Isn't this truly disturbing..

I came across this picture of a dead dolphin in the Amazon. This dolphin goes right into the victims list of global warming along with the people from Tuvalu, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and etc,.

Remember me

"It is no accident that you are reading this. I am making black marks on white paper. These marks are my thoughts, and although I do not know who you are reading this now, in some way the lines of our lives have intersected... For the length of these few sentences, we meet here.

It is no accident that you are reading this. This moment has been waiting for you, I have been waiting for you. Remember me. "

-Duane Michals-

Socially Different?

When you walk by and bump into someone do you just walk by or do you say excuse me?
When you're hit by someone in Seoul, don't expect an apology.

This happens a lot in the subway especially in the morning when everyone's getting to work.
Sometimes they'll stump on your foot, american-football-tackle you, and literally kill you.
You must then do the same to them. Do not expect an apology, nor offer one.

When I see people bumping into me which clearly is a situation they should be sorry about
I scream "What the fuck is wrong with you??? Say you're fucking sorry you
asshole!"

Well, I'd at least like to do that. But all those words are just inside my head and at the tip of my lips.

To be back home, to feel lost at the same time

So it's been around a year or two since I've moved back to Seoul, Korea.

Do you know what it feels like to be back home, but to feel lost at the same time?