I do. I mean life is kinda meaningless. And I have no motivation whatsoever to do anything.
I just lie in bed all day, even when I'm fully aware my exam is on Thursday, Fri, and Saturday.
Then I start hating myself for being so lazy and procrastinatingg (dammit can't even spell now)
I keep wondering am I doing the right thing. am I doing what I like. am I doing what I wanna do for the rest of my life.
I want a decent job by the time i graduate and in 10 years i hope to be in some place where people can admire at least a little. But am I doing enough to deserve this?
Am I going to regret this? I really do want a job doing what I really want to do, and still getting some respect from others with a fair pay of course. I don't expect to be wealthy but I want a decent house and a decent car. But most of all, I want to be enjoying my life 10 years later.
Stuff to do:
1. Cultural Studies Exam Thurs
2. Polit Science Exam Fri
3. Econ Exam Sat
4. Volunteer work Mon
5. Eng. Presentation Tues
6. Presentation Wed
2008년 10월 20일 월요일
2008년 10월 10일 금요일
new post in 6 days!
New post in 6 days! that's a record for sure! wow i must have been really bored. I'm not supposed to be bored though, my finals are coming up next week :( My arabic's just going eemm...so-so. it's still fun. I mean the writing still fascinates me. I totally regret bailing out from Arabic classes in Choueifat and not picking it up when EVERYONE spoke Arabic making me feel like some outsider.
I reallly wanna try out other languages. If I ever get to master Arabic before my deathbed, I'd wanna try out French. I did learn French before for like 3months? But it was horrible. Ms. LeSaux really knew how to tire people out and made us pay 5 pesos for every pad paper we didn't bring to buy herself cigarettes that she tried to hide by drinking tons of iced tea but to no avail. And later on my mom made me learn French privately form MRS. LeSaux, Ms. LeSaux's mother. Like I said before, the American Sign Language is on my list. Then I wanna try maybe Spanish.
Hey come on, don't look at me like I'm some overconfident language addict. Most of the students in my Arabic classes tell me Arabic is their fourth or fifth language. EVERYONE knows how to speak Korean and English. Most can speak French and Chinese fluently. Some can speak Spanish and German and Japanese. I'm the only person who can speak just 2 languages.
1. Master Arabic
2. (American) Sign language
3. French
4. Spanish
5. Chinese
Just 5 languages. That's all i ask. Oh wait, I might wanna add in Vietnamese. I've wanted to try it out coz whenever I go to Vietnam, where my dad lives currently, I have to communicate with words rather than sentences. Anyways Vietnamese is somewhat similar to French I heard so that'l make it easier.
Ma at salama. Au revoir. Ciao. Zai jian. Bye for now!
I reallly wanna try out other languages. If I ever get to master Arabic before my deathbed, I'd wanna try out French. I did learn French before for like 3months? But it was horrible. Ms. LeSaux really knew how to tire people out and made us pay 5 pesos for every pad paper we didn't bring to buy herself cigarettes that she tried to hide by drinking tons of iced tea but to no avail. And later on my mom made me learn French privately form MRS. LeSaux, Ms. LeSaux's mother. Like I said before, the American Sign Language is on my list. Then I wanna try maybe Spanish.
Hey come on, don't look at me like I'm some overconfident language addict. Most of the students in my Arabic classes tell me Arabic is their fourth or fifth language. EVERYONE knows how to speak Korean and English. Most can speak French and Chinese fluently. Some can speak Spanish and German and Japanese. I'm the only person who can speak just 2 languages.
1. Master Arabic
2. (American) Sign language
3. French
4. Spanish
5. Chinese
Just 5 languages. That's all i ask. Oh wait, I might wanna add in Vietnamese. I've wanted to try it out coz whenever I go to Vietnam, where my dad lives currently, I have to communicate with words rather than sentences. Anyways Vietnamese is somewhat similar to French I heard so that'l make it easier.
Ma at salama. Au revoir. Ciao. Zai jian. Bye for now!
2008년 10월 4일 토요일
Sign Language
For around 10 days I lived alone since my mom was gone away. I had nothing to do. And I had already watched all seasons of Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, Lost, and Desperate Housewives.
As I was browsing around I came across the L Word, a series about
lesbians living in WeHo, LA and their lives, love, and friendship. I really enjoyed watching it. It has A LOT of themes such as how Bette defines her identity as African-American when no one knows she has the African blood and how trust is broken between Bette and Tina....and etc.
In season 5, Jodi appears. Jodi is a deaf sculptor played by Marlee Matlin. Matlin is in reality deaf. She has complete hearing loss on one side, and 80% on the other. Yet she is very outgoing and wonderful. There are many scenes where Bette and Jodi communicate thru sign language. So I started taking some interest in sign languages. I never knew there were different sign languages in different countries. Jodi and Bette use the ASL (American Sign Language). I found some lessons on the internet and can sign words like afraid, don't know, do, mad, sister, water, dinner, party, worth, and etc.
I think the world of sign language is just be-autiful. The fact that you can communicate with just your hands is mind blowing for me. Anyways I'm thinking about learning the ASL by myself. It's fun. but still haven't decided if I should learn the KSL instead.
As I was browsing around I came across the L Word, a series about
lesbians living in WeHo, LA and their lives, love, and friendship. I really enjoyed watching it. It has A LOT of themes such as how Bette defines her identity as African-American when no one knows she has the African blood and how trust is broken between Bette and Tina....and etc.
In season 5, Jodi appears. Jodi is a deaf sculptor played by Marlee Matlin. Matlin is in reality deaf. She has complete hearing loss on one side, and 80% on the other. Yet she is very outgoing and wonderful. There are many scenes where Bette and Jodi communicate thru sign language. So I started taking some interest in sign languages. I never knew there were different sign languages in different countries. Jodi and Bette use the ASL (American Sign Language). I found some lessons on the internet and can sign words like afraid, don't know, do, mad, sister, water, dinner, party, worth, and etc.
I think the world of sign language is just be-autiful. The fact that you can communicate with just your hands is mind blowing for me. Anyways I'm thinking about learning the ASL by myself. It's fun. but still haven't decided if I should learn the KSL instead.
2008년 8월 8일 금요일
My latest obsession with Mika
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A lot of people might not know much about Mika. People will most probably know him after hearing the song "Happy Ending"
Mika's actual name is Mica Penniman and he was born in Lebanon to an American father and a Lebanese mother. His family had to move to Paris due to the war when he was one years old. At nine, he moved to London where he has been living up to this day. His days in London were not welcoming; he suffered sever bullying and dyslexia. Later on, he attended the Royal College of Music where he listened to much classical/opera music.
I cannot pin-point one favorite song of his. His music is very diverse, alot of them sounding gay others sounding depressing. Love today, Grace Kelly, Billy Brown, Big Girls, Over My Shoulder, The Only Lonely One, Relax Take It Easy, Any Other World, and last but not the least Happy Ending.
Songs like Grace Kelly, Billy Brown, Love today sound extremely gay but the lyrics are not. Even in the song Happy Ending, although the title of the song sounds joyful, "no love no joy no glory" explains the gloominess of the lyrics.
Grace Kelly is a song Mika wrote out of frustration over the record company who agreed to sign the contract only when Mika did more R n B.
In Love Today, Mika is desperate for love quoting "love love me".
The reason I like Mika so much is that despite his success, gay music, and super-optimism there's a sadness behind his eyes so deep that shows the 24years of his flamboyant life.
Mika's actual name is Mica Penniman and he was born in Lebanon to an American father and a Lebanese mother. His family had to move to Paris due to the war when he was one years old. At nine, he moved to London where he has been living up to this day. His days in London were not welcoming; he suffered sever bullying and dyslexia. Later on, he attended the Royal College of Music where he listened to much classical/opera music.
I cannot pin-point one favorite song of his. His music is very diverse, alot of them sounding gay others sounding depressing. Love today, Grace Kelly, Billy Brown, Big Girls, Over My Shoulder, The Only Lonely One, Relax Take It Easy, Any Other World, and last but not the least Happy Ending.
Songs like Grace Kelly, Billy Brown, Love today sound extremely gay but the lyrics are not. Even in the song Happy Ending, although the title of the song sounds joyful, "no love no joy no glory" explains the gloominess of the lyrics.
Grace Kelly is a song Mika wrote out of frustration over the record company who agreed to sign the contract only when Mika did more R n B.
In Love Today, Mika is desperate for love quoting "love love me".
The reason I like Mika so much is that despite his success, gay music, and super-optimism there's a sadness behind his eyes so deep that shows the 24years of his flamboyant life.
2008년 7월 30일 수요일
To do list for August
Okay, so I've been lazing off for the past couple of...................YEARS..fine i admit it
Prolly time for me to get back on my feet again, shape myself up.
So I made a list of things to do in August
To-do list:
1. Sign up for Arabic lessons
2. Study for TOEFL test on the 24th
3. Review Economics for re-test
4. Review Sociology for re-test
5. Work-out every morning
Wanna-do list:
1. Get driver's license
2. Get MOS license (just to get it over with)
3. Get 990 on TOEIC
4. Brush up on my Chinese
5. Get a job/teach English
6. Preview Politics
7. Learn what is required for foreign exchange student (TOEIC, TOEFL, SAT, GRE?)
8. Learn a new language perhaps French or Spanish
Prolly time for me to get back on my feet again, shape myself up.
So I made a list of things to do in August
To-do list:
1. Sign up for Arabic lessons
2. Study for TOEFL test on the 24th
3. Review Economics for re-test
4. Review Sociology for re-test
5. Work-out every morning
Wanna-do list:
1. Get driver's license
2. Get MOS license (just to get it over with)
3. Get 990 on TOEIC
4. Brush up on my Chinese
5. Get a job/teach English
6. Preview Politics
7. Learn what is required for foreign exchange student (TOEIC, TOEFL, SAT, GRE?)
8. Learn a new language perhaps French or Spanish
2008년 6월 30일 월요일
Discovered new music
I've recently came across a blog of someone I knew from Brent. She and a couple of people from Brent had started out a indie band named "Save The Sea Monkeys!" http://www.myspace.com/savetheseamonkehz
Their music was really good. I mean real good for people my age. It wasn't hardcore or those music you scream out loud just for fun. Their music truly had candor and honesty to it. And then I wondered what I was doing while she was doing something this cool. It was nice to see how she was doing what she really wanted in her life. We used to be in the same school band: she played the french horn and I played the flute and yet she was at this point in our lives, starting out a band a whole new solo project called "Dining with the Bolsheviks Music" http://www.myspace.com/diningwiththebolsheviksmusic
Today was a tough day for me. My grades came out for my first semester at college.
Many C's a couple of B's... So now I am sitting at my computer wondering what went wrong in my life. Had I done anything to fix it? Now. No emotions. No motivations whatsoever. I watched Juno yesterday. Supposedley "heart-warming". I didn't feel anything. NOTHING. I just sat there and watched. The plot, the character, the story. But I didn't feel it like I used to.
Anyhow I'm not here to regret my life. No more regrets.
My life has changed much. I was mentally strong and passionate before. I had a dream and a goal and that was the only reason why I cared nothing about what others had to say. Nothing mattered. What mattered was my dream that pumped blood deep down my heart.
And now that dream flew away. I didn't know. I didn't know that it was slowly creeping away into the thin air. One day I woke up and discovered myself with no passion or dream.
Cut to the right point. I envy the group and the solo project. I love people who live
for what they truly want. Hats off to ya guys!
Their music was really good. I mean real good for people my age. It wasn't hardcore or those music you scream out loud just for fun. Their music truly had candor and honesty to it. And then I wondered what I was doing while she was doing something this cool. It was nice to see how she was doing what she really wanted in her life. We used to be in the same school band: she played the french horn and I played the flute and yet she was at this point in our lives, starting out a band a whole new solo project called "Dining with the Bolsheviks Music" http://www.myspace.com/diningwiththebolsheviksmusic
Today was a tough day for me. My grades came out for my first semester at college.
Many C's a couple of B's... So now I am sitting at my computer wondering what went wrong in my life. Had I done anything to fix it? Now. No emotions. No motivations whatsoever. I watched Juno yesterday. Supposedley "heart-warming". I didn't feel anything. NOTHING. I just sat there and watched. The plot, the character, the story. But I didn't feel it like I used to.
Anyhow I'm not here to regret my life. No more regrets.
My life has changed much. I was mentally strong and passionate before. I had a dream and a goal and that was the only reason why I cared nothing about what others had to say. Nothing mattered. What mattered was my dream that pumped blood deep down my heart.
And now that dream flew away. I didn't know. I didn't know that it was slowly creeping away into the thin air. One day I woke up and discovered myself with no passion or dream.
Cut to the right point. I envy the group and the solo project. I love people who live
for what they truly want. Hats off to ya guys!
2008년 6월 7일 토요일
Isn't this truly disturbing..
I came across this picture of a dead dolphin in the Amazon. This dolphin goes right into the victims list of global warming along with the people from Tuvalu, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and etc,.
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